Comedy was never something Ayala had considered doing; rather, she stumbled into it after a lifelong love of storytelling. “Growing up, I loved reading. I’d recruit my cousins to perform the plays I wrote. Afterwards, I’d walk around asking for money so we could buy candy. I’ve always been a little bit of a hustler, not just a writer,” she recalls. 

Ayala studied journalism, but moving to Hong Kong revealed a dearth of jobs in the industry. So she pivoted to marketing and communications. “I was natural at telling stories in front of the camera, but it was also easy for me to pitch campaigns to potential clients,” said Ayala. “Performing was not necessarily an aspiration of mine, but it came naturally to me.”

In 2018, she ended a long-term relationship and was interested in exploring dating apps. With some encouragement from her friends, she took the opportunity to rediscover herself and explore different options. “But the dates were comically horrible,” she says. “A man wanted me to boss him around, so I made him clean my apartment.” 

Ayala shared her dating experiences with her friends, who found her storytelling riveting. “They told me I needed to be doing this on stage because my stories were hilarious enough that people might pay to listen to them.” She started doing comedy as a hobby, attending different open mic nights in Hong Kong. 

But Ayala quickly realised that the comedy scene was centred on men’s experiences. “These men have never been ‘othered’,” she says. “They’ve never had to come up on stage and worry about being judged for their material. They’re just unabashedly themselves.” 

During one show, a male comedian made jokes about sexual assault, which Ayala had personal experience with. Despite her reservations about volunteering this information, she decided to speak up. “I said it wasn’t okay to propagate rape culture, and that that wasn’t something I wanted to be part of. I was called a killjoy for it.” 

Although the show’s organisers quickly addressed her concerns, which resulted in her receiving an apology, it happened at her personal expense. “People think that jokes are harmless. But if you normalise talking about women or queer people in that way, you minimise the real-world impact that those attitudes can have, and how that can lead to real violence,” she says.

More from Tatler: How can we redefine masculinity for boys to drive healthier gender dynamics and prevent future gender-based harm?

In 2023, Ayala moved back to Manila, where she had lived as a child, and at various other points in her life. She had lost her job in Hong Kong and was struggling to find work, even as a freelancer. She was aware of a thriving comedy scene in the Philippines, but would nevertheless encounter the same problems that she had in Hong Kong. The biggest comedy troupes in the Philippines were predominantly male. Additionally, given the Philippines’ status as a deeply Catholic, conservative nation, it was difficult to discuss taboo topics like menstruation, which had been part of her shows previously.

In Manila, Ayala was doing monthly virtual workshops with women from all over the globe. But she wanted to create a community based on in-person connections. “What the Philippines currently sees in terms of female comedians is not the full picture of who we are,” she says. “That’s why it’s really important to have safe spaces where our identities don’t dictate whether we’re funny or not.” And so, Bitches in Stitches Manila was established alongside co-founders Veronica Litton and Ina Sebastian, hosting stand-up comedy shows, musicals and workshops in Makati.

As with its initial chapter in Hong Kong, the goal of Bitches In Stitches is to encourage more women and queer people to try things out for themselves. “There’s a safe space for people to hear their story, to let their hair down and be themselves,” Ayala believes. There is still a long way to go in making the comedy landscape more inclusive, but she refuses to lose heart. “Don’t give up, keep fighting,” she encourages. “Make it so that you're the last woman to ever feel alone in doing what you love.” 

Front & Female Changemakers celebrates the extraordinary journeys of inspiring women who have emerged as powerful changemakers in a range of fields, offering a glimpse into their lives and showcasing their courage, vision and relentless pursuit of change and progress. From social entrepreneurs and business leaders to educators, artists, activists and scientists, Front & Female changemakers exemplify the ability to challenge the status quo and demonstrate the power of women to effect change.

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