Cover ‘Parched’ by Leena Yadav is a movie that explores the complexities of friendship, pain, and heartbreak through the journey of four women striving to overcome their personal challenges (Photo: courtesy of IMDB)

Gen Z is not interested in romantic relationships and sex as much as other generations. Experts and community builders explain to Tatler that this shift is not just redefining the concept of love; it is also transforming the role of women and challenging entrenched societal norms

The meaning of “love” has been debated for millennia by philosophers and artists alike—but Gen Zs are challenging its mere existence.

It’s true that this generation has a tendency to need to categorise and (re)define everything—surely “having a nanoship” and being “boy sober” are just glamorised TikTok versions of having a connection with someone and being celibate respectively. But such categorisation is also a reflection of this generation’s growing disinterest in traditional romantic and sexual relationships. 

“I might be a Boomer, but apparently you guys [Gen Zs] are having less sex than me,” my father said laughingly to me recently, referencing a 2021 study by sexual health research centre the Kinsey Institute and British sex toy and lingerie brand Lovehoney showing that one in four Gen Z adult confesses to never having sex, as well as a 2023 study by UCLA’s Center for Scholars saying that Gen Z youth want less sex on screen.

Aside from my father’s dreadful sense of humour, the latter study deserves a deeper dive, as it also revealed what Gen Z actually do want: more content centred around friendships and platonic, rather than romantic, relationships. And the reason behind it has as much to do with gender inequality as the long-lasting misrepresentation of women in culture. 

You might also like: Why you should never let a romantic relationship overshadow female friendships and sisterhood

Women are showing less interest in traditional romance and gender inequality is to blame for it

Tatler Asia
Above TV show ‘Gossip girls‘ (2007-2012) is known to glamorise toxic friendships (Photo: courtesy of IMDb)

More friendship, less romance. This shift, according to Chinese University lecturer of gender studies Dr Sonia Wong, has been a long time coming. “In the past, it made sense for women to spend most of their time cultivating a relationship that supported them financially and guaranteed a certain social acceptability,” she tells Tatler. “But nowadays, it’s different: these things no longer rely on men.”

With the rise of gender equality movements, women’s rights, and increasing interconnectivity among them, women across generations—especially Gen Z—have become more aware of how traditional relationship dynamics can perpetuate power imbalances.

“Gen Z has understood that these harmful dynamics trickle down into their heterosexual relationships—creating sometimes, an imbalance of power within the relationship,” she says. “It’s obviously not impossible to break these dynamics—but you need to put in a lot of conscious efforts and energy into them, and we’re now facing a situation where women want to be free from these power dynamics and where not everybody is willing to make the effort to ensure this result.”

Tatler Asia
Above There have been many iterations of ‘Little Women‘, but Greta Gerwig's version from 2019 really nails the central friendship between the four sisters (Photo: courtesy of IMDb)

“There’s literally not one woman in my life whose only interest in life is to find a man.”

- Kaitlin Chan, cartoonist and gallery director -

This results in, for instance, less interest in sex and starting a family—in the traditional sense of the term. Reports from China, South Korea, Japan, Singapore and other East Asian countries have alarmingly highlighted the region’s low fertility rate, with governments trying to come up with financial compensation and new laws to convince women that “they can have it all”. 

But women don’t necessarily want to have it all, and even if they do, the existing systems are ill-equipped to meet their needs on their terms.

“Adding to the high rate of divorce, young people—especially female Gen Z and queer people—are really discouraged from committing and formalising their relationships,” Wong says. “That’s why they are exploring and prioritising new forms of relationships to challenge these power dynamics—that includes non-monogamous relationships, some that aren’t about commitment, some that aren’t heterosexual, and more and foremost: friendships.”

Women are (re)claiming ownership over their narratives and reframing their relationships

Tatler Asia
Above Kaitlin Chan, a Hong Kong-based cartoonist and gallery director (Photo: courtesy of Kaitlin Chan)
Tatler Asia
Above Kaitlin Chan’s zines invite readers to rethink the importance of their relationships (Photo: courtesy of Kaitlin Chan)

In the past, society made it complicated for female friendships to bloom. The system prevented women from socialising with each other and forced them to compete for men’s attention and support, leaving many deeply isolated, Wong explains. What’s more, “pop culture has been mostly crafted by male directors and artists, who usually presented a biased representation of female friendships, [suggesting they were] childish and superficial, [thus meaning] there was no point of reference for us to build healthy friendships.”

Indeed, there’s a colossal gap between what’s available in terms of representation of women and what women’s lives are actually like. For Kaitlin Chan, a Hong Kong-based cartoonist and gallery director, this is because women’s stories are overly associated with romantic pursuit and sexual desirability. “It feels coercive,” she tells Tatler. “This kind of representation makes it sound like women ought to exist by being at the service of society—and of the male gaze.

“There are a lot of dimensions to real women, and what we’re offered most of the time in pop culture are the same four stereotypes: she’s a nag, she’s sad and single, she’s someone’s mum or someone’s wife. And the representation gets even more superficial when it comes to representation of women of colour,” she adds. “There’s literally not one woman in my life who fits these stereotypes and whose only interest in life is to find a man.”

She says artists play an important role in reshaping these narratives: “It’s scary to challenge the status quo, but visibility and complex representation is crucial because you need to see someone living through it first to believe that you can do it as well,” she says. “Art is meant to show the breadth of life—and that includes showing ways outside of mainstream norms.”

Tatler Asia
Above Poster of Oliver Chan’s ‘The Montages of a Modern Motherhood’ (2024) (Photo: courtesy of IMDb)
Tatler Asia
Above Poster of Ray Yeung’s ‘All Shall Be Well’ (2024) (Photo: courtesy of IMDb)

Through her work, Chan invites readers to rethink the importance of their relationships—for example, by representing friendships as a salve in her graphic novel Eric’s Sister (2023) and by representing platonic relationships in her comics—such as in The Notorious Comb Sisters, originally published in Catapult magazine in 2022. In two zines she published in 2024, she also looked at the way we can reframe our crushes and friendships so they might serve us better. 

“Considering a more elastic approach to relationships might liberate us to feel more satisfied by the friendships we have and are yet to form,” she writes in the zine My Loneliness is Killing Me, I Must Confess I Still Believe. In Terrible Fancies, she offers a restructuration of the way we perceive crushes, to take agency of them rather than feel disempowered by them: having a crush can allow you to better understand your needs, feel present in your body and learn important things about how and why you desire, she writes.

“Seeing how positively people have responded to these zines made me realise that there’s hope, that society finally has a certain tolerance for challenging these representations,” she adds. 

Wong and Chan also praise the more complex representation of relationships, womanhood and sisterhood in Hong Kong’s cinema, such as Oliver Chan’s The Montages of a Modern Motherhood (2024) and Ray Yeung’s All Shall Be Well (2024). “Change comes with visibility,” Chan repeats. “There’s always gonna be people who need to break free from whatever dominant system there is, and there’s no scientific explanation to this, but in my experience, there’s a magnetic pull towards each other.”

Women help other women redefine their place in society through sisterhood and women-based communities

Tatler Asia
Above Vera Lui, founder of the intimate lifestyle store Sally Coco and co-founder of the Women’s Festival (Photo: Instagram / @sallystoy.vera)
Tatler Asia
Above Women-only run club She Runs Collective (Photo: Instagram / @she.runs.collective)

Change often comes with and through community work. In recent years, communities celebrating friendship and sisterhood have emerged as vital safe spaces for women and allies, fostering collaboration in business, promoting sexual wellness and autonomy, and encouraging engagement in sport. This shift reflects a movement away from isolation towards connection that enhances both individual and collective empowerment in a society that often pits women against one another.

“The sex-positive community I’ve cultivated over the past 15 years is centred on creating safe, judgment-free environments where women can genuinely express themselves,” says Vera Lui, certified sex educator, founder of the intimate lifestyle store Sally Coco and co-founder of the Women’s Festival.

“These spaces are crucial because they foster open dialogues about intimacy, identity and connection, allowing women to engage with these subjects without the fear of stigma. When women feel secure, they gain the confidence to delve into their needs, establish boundaries and build relationships—whether platonic or romantic—that are rooted in trust and authenticity. Sisterhood thrives when we lift one another up, and that’s the essence of what these spaces embody.”

Tatler Asia
Above Sarah Vee, founder of Women of Hong Kong, at the 3rd anniversary of the community (Photo: Instagram / @sarahvee._)

The She Runs Collective is another impactful community initiative, this one seeking to dismantle barriers to participation in physical activities. “We established this collective to create an inclusive environment where women can prioritise their physical, mental and social well-being while opening new pathways into sports and fitness,” writes Amy George, co-founder of the women-only run club. “More than just a running club, She Runs Collective offers a sanctuary where women show up—for themselves and for each other. This community fulfils a need I often felt when I first moved to Hong Kong and had the daunting task of forging friendships as an adult.”

Finally, Sarah Vee, founder of Women of Hong Kong, articulates the need for such supportive networks. “In a city like Hong Kong, where life can be a constant hustle and the expectations are sky-high, Women of Hong Kong offers a vital lifeline—a welcomed reprieve from the pressure,” she explains. “A decade ago, professional relationships often came with a transactional mindset, fostering an environment where women were conditioned to compete rather than collaborate. Today, we are actively rewriting that narrative. For female entrepreneurs, business owners and professionals, this community support is nothing short of transformative. It’s about embracing sisterhood and authenticity, and being present for one another—not merely as professionals or entrepreneurs, but as whole, multifaceted women.”

Through these narratives, it’s clear that sisterhood-based communities in Hong Kong, as well as new cultural representations, are not just fostering individual well-being, but are also challenging and reshaping societal norms. 

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