Georgette Tan, immediate past president of United Women Singapore, which runs a programme to empower boys, highlights some of the most concerning traditional male stereotypes, why we need to challenge them and how we can all work towards healthier ideals of what it means to be a man
Men don’t cry. Men should be tough. Men need to be the breadwinner.
These were some of the stereotypes that attendees of a recent event in Singapore as part of United Women Singapore’s (UWS) Boys Empowered programme grew up with.
They all fall into what has been termed the ‘man box’, a set of rigid societal norms and expectations that have traditionally defined masculinity and include behaviours considered ‘manly’ by society. The term was coined by activist Tony Porter, who is the founder of violence prevention organisation A Call to Men, and is based on American writer Paul Kivel’s work, Act Like a Man Box.
In addition to suppression of emotions such as sadness, including crying, or vulnerability, or anything that might be perceived as ‘weak’, and the notion that men should be aggressive or dominant and appear strong, the ‘man box’ also includes a rejection of behaviours deemed feminine, such as showing care or empathy or being nurturing, as well as being financially and sexually successful, and being self-sufficient and not asking for help.
Such traditional stereotypes and characteristics are not limited to Singapore. They cross cultures, religions, societies and borders, and continue to persist today. They can also have far-reaching impact, not only on boys and men themselves, but on the women they interact with or have relationships with, whether mothers, sisters or daughters, friends, classmates or colleagues. They play into unhealthy gender dynamics and can be at the root of gender-based harm, both emotional and physical.