A little preparation, including thorough reproductive health check-ups, can make a big difference before starting trying to conceive
Cover A little preparation, including thorough reproductive health check-ups, can make a big difference before starting the journey of trying to conceive
A little preparation, including thorough reproductive health check-ups, can make a big difference before starting trying to conceive

Dawn Chan, founder of Sow Fertility, shares how the journey to conception requires a holistic approach—one that considers male fertility, emotional well-being and the delicate balance between intimacy and expectation

Are you hoping to get pregnant? The journey of trying to conceive (TTC) often starts with excitement and hope, but it can also be an emotional rollercoaster. You track ovulation, take the right supplements and focus on all the physical aspects of conception, but what happens when it starts to feel more like a chore or stressful routine, than a joyful experience? 

While most couples focus on timing intercourse and maintaining good health, there are other crucial factors that are frequently neglected, including male fertility, emotional well-being and the impact of stress on intimacy. Here’s what you need to know to approach TTC with a more holistic and supportive mindset. 

Getting started: are you really ready?

Before embarking on the TTC journey, know that a little preparation can make a big difference. A thorough reproductive health check-up for both partners is a great first step. This can help to identify any underlying health issues that may affect fertility. 

Fertility connects closely with overall health and wellness so lifestyle adjustments and supplements can also play a major role. Adopting a nutrient-rich diet, regular exercise and maintaining a healthy weight can positively impact both egg and sperm quality, while cutting back on alcohol, quitting smoking and managing stress are equally important. Women are often advised to take prenatal vitamins with folic acid, while men can benefit from supplements that support sperm health. 

These proactive steps can create a conducive environment for conception and help couples feel more prepared for the journey ahead.

Male fertility matters

When couples struggle to conceive, the focus often turns to the woman—her cycle, her eggs, her body. But, in up to 40 per cent of infertility cases, male factors play a role.

The following can all impact male fertility:

  • Age: Sperm quality and motility decline with age, especially after 40, after which studies indicate that conception rates decrease significantly.
  • Lifestyle choices: Obesity, smoking and excessive alcohol consumption can all adversely affect sperm quality.
  • Health conditions: Low sperm count or motility can also arise from medical conditions or environmental influences.

Understanding these factors is crucial for couples attempting to conceive, as addressing male fertility can significantly enhance their chances of success. A simple semen analysis can reveal potential concerns early and allow your partner to make lifestyle adjustments to help improve sperm quality.

Keeping the spark alive

Sex during the TTC journey often starts out fun, but as months go by it can begin to feel like a chore as the pressure to conceive leads to an absence of spontaneity and excitement and/or feelings of frustration and anxiety, which can hinder physical connection. 

So, how can you maintain intimacy while TTC?

  • Communicate openly: TTC can be emotionally draining—discuss feelings, anxieties and concerns openly with each other to foster understanding and support.
  • Reframe the experience: Shift the focus from intercourse solely for conception to connection and make time for alternative forms of intimacy such as cuddling or massages.
  • Prioritise quality time: Set aside moments for each other that are free from the pressures of TTC. This could involve date nights or simply relaxing together.

By nurturing emotional connections, couples can strengthen their relationship amid the challenges of trying to conceive.

Dealing with uncertainty

Setting realistic expectations is vital during the TTC journey. It’s easy to think that pregnancy will happen quickly, but many couples take six months to a year to conceive naturally and individual experiences vary widely. 

Here are some tips for managing expectations:

  • Know when to seek help: If you are under 35 and have been trying to conceive for a year (or six months if you are over 35), consulting a fertility specialist is advisable.
  • Manage stress levels: High cortisol (the stress hormone) can disrupt reproductive hormones, making conception harder. Mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation or simple relaxation exercises can help with the emotional ups and downs.
  • Foster support networks: Connecting with others who are experiencing similar challenges can provide emotional relief and practical advice.

Every TTC journey is unique, filled with its own set of challenges and triumphs. While striving for parenthood is a significant goal, it's crucial not to lose sight of the relationship that brought you together in the first place. Addressing often-overlooked factors, such as male fertility, emotional well-being and intimacy, can make a significant difference in both your chances of conceiving and the strength of your relationship. No matter where you are in your journey, you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself, stay connected with your partner and know that there are many paths to parenthood.

Dawn Chan is the founder of Sow Fertility, a platform providing a wealth of information to help individuals plan their fertility journeys, from fertility preservation to trying to conceive to IVF. She is also host of the How would you like your eggs? podcast.

Front & Female’s series She Speaks aims to drive open, inclusive and unfiltered conversations tackling the sensitive topics that impact women. Do you have a burning question that you’d like our experts to answer? Email us on [email protected]

Topics